Thirty Things I Learned In My 30s

Come December 4, I’ll no longer be one of those “thirty-something” people stuck between the zit cream and Centrum Silver aisles at Target. I’ll have crossed the facial lines into my 40s, where the lure of peaks abound (at least that’s what they say in women’s magazines).

I don’t feel much different than I did 10 years ago (except for the achy knees and dragging sense of doom at 3:00 p.m.), when I celebrated my big 30th with my family and wondered how the next decade would all go down. Well, I learned a lot about myself and other things, that’s for sure. Hence the reason for a 30 Things list, because I can never get enough bulleted copy and either can you. Enjoy!

  1. That moisturizer should always contain a sunscreen.
  2. Fertility should never be taken for granted.
  3. Assuming you’ll get what you want is not the same as believing you will.
  4. The closer you are to 40, the more quickly you’ll gain weight if you eat that pan of brownies.
  5. Children make you more tired on the other side of 35.
  6. Smile lines are good to have.
  7. Your career isn’t necessarily your life.
  8. How you earn money doesn’t have to be your passion.
  9. There will always be someone older than you who thinks you’re “the baby” and treat you accordingly.
  10. Your periods will wack-out and so will your moods.
  11. Exercise becomes more important with each year.
  12. Eating right also becomes more important.
  13. Drinking booze and eating crap are also important 5 days before your period starts.
  14. Your closest friend may be your only friend, and that’s fine.
  15. Stooping to pick up your basset hound becomes impossible.
  16. There is no such thing as a stable job.
  17. You still want your mommy.
  18. You’re young enough to be called “miss” one day, and old enough to be called “ma’am” the next.
  19. Your bra size will change – whether you had kids or not. Sorry.
  20. Your confidence level soars because you don’t give a shizzit anymore.
  21. Health problems will probably start showing up about now (another sorry).
  22. There is a longing for something more, something deeper, and it might just change how you look at things spiritually.
  23. Your true calling will start tapping you on the shoulder, and possibly slug you in the jaw if you don’t pay attention.
  24. Whether you’ve been married awhile or not at all, you’ll realize you need to be partners with yourself for true happiness.
  25. Convenience foods are gifts from God – and so are Clorox wipes, the Swiffer, automatic shower cleaners, and drive-through banking.
  26. The elasticity of your skin changes, no matter how much you work out. Unless you spend every moment at the dermatologist’s office.
  27. Shaving your legs is saved only for date nights and when you have to wear a skirt to work.
  28. You’ll find yourself cussing under your breath about the messed-up teenagers who, oddly enough, do the same things you did as a teenager.
  29. It’s okay to have a guilty pleasure.
  30. Being who you are is the ultimate gift to yourself.

4 thoughts on “Thirty Things I Learned In My 30s

  1. The elasticity in my skin is on par with my knicker elastic worn and saggy. Must get some collagen, some day, when I get time. And no one warned me about the saggy boobs and saggy belly thing that happens after 35. Damn.

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